food for thought: life is sweet

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Let’s just start off by saying this is so hard for me to do. To let people into the personal but I think or I hope from this, somewhere someone will find this helpful:

UH HUH, HONEY. We will all have our time to shine, I promise. Life is good. This year has honestly been the best year ever. Why? Because all my closest friends moved away from home, I dealt with a break up that revealed a lot of dirty truths, and sticky situations at the home front. Doesn’t that sound a lot like perfection? Cutting the sarcasm, everything happened the way it did and opened my eyes. What I learned:

Friendship – I would have never gotten closer to the people I am with today if I never broke down my barriers. I used to be the type to rely on my support system and stuck with the same bubble of friends. Maybe it’s a San Franciscan thing, we like our cliques. Having my closest friends further away, I built paths for me to break out of my comfort zone, allowing new people to dig their roots into my life, like planting new trees on a road. It wasn’t that I never made new friends; the issue was allowing others to become more than an acquaintance in fear of cruel intentions. Reality is, there will always be someone that may hurt you and I knew if I kept going about with this impression in my head, I will never let anyone into my life. Lesson learned: sometimes it’s okay to be a little foolish. To really learn and get to know someone, you have to drop your defenses, listen without judgement, and be a friend without presumptions.

Relationship/The Self – Everyone loves status updates on “how are you doing” when you get out of a relationship. They are even more astonished, maybe confused, when you go through a break up and tell them you’re actually doing great and mean it! You have to mean it. Lesson learned: Ladies and gents, you’ve got to love yourself first, or no one else will (J.Cole – Crooked Smile, exactly what he said). If that ‘love’ is no longer there, don’t fret, the love from your friends and family is solid. The love for the self, your self worth, still remains. And if it isn’t, honey, you have to go find it! The moment you stop seeking attention from others because of a little loneliness and instead focus on becoming the best YOU, your light will shine. You’ll realize your accomplishments made for yourself, by yourself. Allotted this single-hood, there is plenty of time to be productive, be promiscuous, be lazy, have fun with friends and best of all, you’re going to sleep happy with who you are and your becomings, rather than feeling sad about what you had and why it didn’t work. We all know relationships come with healthy arguments and they’re much harder to deal with when you’re carrying the weight of not understanding yourself. Instead of dealing with one problem, you’re then digging into all the things that you previously left unresolved. The best relationships work out when you have a strong understanding and connection with yourself first.IMG_5421Tout Sweet Pâtisserie desserts and hot chocolate

With all that was said, I’m still learning and each day I’m loving what life has to offer. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Why not add yummy pictures of sweets I devoured to go along with the topic, it’s like we’re chatting over tea/coffee! I truly hope whoever out there dealing with a sucky situation can see light at the end of the tunnel. I posted this because I had people frequently ask me about these topics so I thought it’ll be helpful to shed a little of my findings. Seriously.. I’m already fighting to delete this because I really can’t believe you guys are gonna read this…… (freaking out in my mind)!! Oh well, “Got 99 problems but… __fill in the blank__  ain’t one” haha.

xo,tfny.

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